Eight Patents to Help You Survive Halloween Night
Halloween, or All Hallows’ Eve, is a time for trick-or-treating, bobbing for apples, and costume parties. However, it is easy to get caught up in all the revelry and forget that, hidden amongst the trick-or-treaters, may be some less than savory characters. To avoid being caught off guard by a vampire, witch, or werewolf read further to find eight patents to help you survive Halloween night.
8. Coffin Alarm System (US Patent No. 4,367,461)
Once night falls, if you live anywhere near a graveyard, you will be thankful to have thought ahead and installed “Coffin Alarm Systems” in all buried coffins. Fernand Gauchard’s patented system detects bodily movement within a buried coffin and uses an above-ground alarm system to notify the living to run far, far away.
7. Machine for sharpening wooden stake, related method, and wooden stake sharpened thereby (US Patent No. 5,109,896)
If you were unlucky enough to have missed the “Coffin Alarm System” sounding and come face-to-face with a vampire, you can thank Christopher B. and Edward M.R. Tomes for their patented wooden stake-sharpening machine. Use this machine to ensure your stakes are in top vampire heart-piercing condition before leaving the house on Halloween night.
6. Preparation of ultra-pure silver metal (US Patent No. 6,290,749)
If you run into a werewolf while out collecting Halloween candy, you do not want to be stuck with only tin bullets. Be sure to whip up a fresh batch of Weimar W. White, Gary G. Kiehl, and Brian P. Cleary’s ultra-pure silver metal to coat your bullets with before heading out for the night.
5. Holy Water Sprinkler (US Patent No. D657,438)
Halloween is known to blur the lines between realities; accidentally opening the door to an unwanted spirit can put a damper on your costume party. During party preparations, make sure to fill your “Holy Water Sprinkler” so that you will be able to conveniently rid your party of any evil spirits.
4. Salt Dispenser (US Patent No. 2,746,653)
Create a circle of salt around you and your loved ones or line the entryways of your home with salt to prevent unwanted spirits from entering. George S. Cassimus’ salt dispenser allows for easy application so you can most effectively protect your home.
3. Portable Flame Thrower (US Patent No. 2,417,981)
Seeing as zombies are already dead, they are difficult to get rid of. Don’t take any chances with your ability to fight off a zombie army and make sure to carry one of Warren C. Graham’s portable flamethrowers wherever you go on Halloween night.
2. Illuminated Magic Wand (US Patent No. 3,707,055)
Witches and wizards prevail on Halloween night. If you run into one, make sure to be armed with one of Woodrow W. Pearce’s wands so that you can use your good magic to protect yourself. As an added bonus it is illuminated to light your way in the dark Halloween night.
1. Speech Transcribing System (US Patent No. 4,908,866)
If a spirit is talking to you, you are going to want to make sure to give the right responses. That is where Eric and Dorothy Goldwasser’s “Speech Transcribing System” comes in handy, it allows you to read the spoken words so that you can make sure to not upset the spirit with your answers.
Hopefully, with a little help from these inventive patents, you are able to confidently face whatever may come your way this Halloween. Throw on your costume, grab your trick-or-treating bag, strap on your portable flamethrower, and have an unforgettable holiday.
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